You never thought you’d be single at this stage in your life. Odds are…you’ve been caught off guard. A marriage gone sour after 17 years. A sudden, unexpected death of your husband or partner. I don’t know about you, but I certainly didn’t see it coming. Much less real mink false eyelashes for it.
Living my life in sweats, t-shirts and a glance at the mirror as I would quickly brush my teeth, I never gave my looks a second thought. I probably should have. Because when I finally got the courage to put my 2.25 reading glasses on and look in the mirror…I almost passed out!
When did the flaps I used to call eyelids, droop over my lashes? What’s with my hair?! When did it get all frizzy and wavy….and thinner? When did I start growing a moustache? And my clothes? When did my closet fill with a variety of black stretch real mink false eyelashes and sweatshirts? Somebody please tell me when in the world I gained back my ‘freshman 10.” Or is it 20? Who on earth would want to date me? I wouldn’t!
I was coming to the slow realization that the odds were less and less that a tall, handsome, full-headed gray-haired man was going to just knock on my door and tell me that looks didn’t matter…he loved me for my mind and wanted to sweep me off my feet!
It was somewhere in between noshing on my 16 year old’s ‘McDonald’s hamburger deluxe with cheesy fries’ for the 90th time, that I knew I needed to take matters into my own hands. It was time to grab life by the real mink false eyelashes or continue to join the pity real mink false eyelashes. The choice was mine.
Indnk here’s what I did…
1. I used the mom network to seek out the seasoned, sophisticated divorcees. The women who I never mingled with or related to. To pick their brains. To help figure out their brave new world….which was now mine. 2. Prayed that they would be nice, not laugh…and tell me the secret to looking ‘hot’ in the midst of this more-than-unstable menopausal age.
3. Finally….after all that….ask them the answer to the mother of all questions…. How on earth… do you find a man when you’re 54 years young with a teenage son?!
To my surprise, I was met with laughter and good advice. The kind that’s from knowing the answer doesn’t come from ‘telling.’ But from doing, experimenting….trying.
So we began slow. There are lots of options other than plastic surgery. Wonderful tricks of the trade today that are affordable and can make you look amazing!
For starters…it’s astounding what real mink false eyelashes extensions can do for a little ‘pick-me-up’ and a well-rested look. The droopy eyelids? Piece of cake. Eye-defining contour strips. Wake those babies right up. 10 years off your face…poof!
Then a little make-up – a dab there, a pat here….and voila….gettin betta! Don’t forget the cream – over the lids, under the eyes, and in between the waxed, dyed eyebrows. Hold onto your breath as they wish off the mustache in one fell waxed swoop. When the redness wears off….you will be absolutely amazed how the years will have too.
As your confidence blossoms from all the new- found compliments….so will your courage. Try a new hairstyle, new make-up, hip new clothes…and maybe even a little exercise and yoga to firm up and feel good. If it’s a bit overwhelming for you… find a support group – other women who will ride the journey with you – and look for some good professional advice. They can pave the way to make it comfortable, affordable and fun.
Now you’re ready. Or getting really close. To take your new- found, fantabulous ‘you’ on the road…and into the world of internet dating because it’s the fastest-growing, most successful way to meet a man at our age. It’s less scary and safer than you think. If you keep your smarts and wits about you.
Here are some of the rules:
To be successful, you first and foremost, need a computer. Or at least access to one…from the library or a friend. There are lots of different dating sites out there. Many are specific to hobbies, age, religion, etc. You’ll need to know how to ‘Google.’ So you can look them up. ‘Singles over 40. Mature Singles. Jewish singles, Christian Singles, Green and Single, Singles and Equestrian, Millionaire Match and the list goes on. You’ll find the largest dating sites, the most popular ones and everything in between. Most of them let you look for free at profiles and pictures. For a limited time or in a limited way.
Speaking of profiles and pictures…you’ll need one. Your bio should be the ‘real you!’ It should speak from the heart. If you don’t know how to put two words together….get someone who does. You wouldn’t want to meet men whose profiles sound boring. Well, neither do they.
Let’s not forget about the pictures. Your photos don’t have to be professional. But they do need to be in focus. With you smiling and looking your best. There’s lots of help out there to get it right. Don’t be lazy. Find it. This is your debut. Remember what your mother always told you….You don’t get a second chance to make a first impression!
Your best advice comes from those seasoned, sophisticated divorcees who are probably now also your friends. Ask them….which sites they found worked best. Which ones didn’t. What their experiences were like. They’ve been there. Their expertise is invaluable. Not just about websites. But also about dates. And dating. The ‘dos and don’ts. Like not telling where you live. Or about meeting at a public place. About not ‘dumping’ your entire life story when you first meet. No one cares. Be polite, interested and interesting. The internet has tons of articles on this subject. Read them. There’s gobs of information out there. Research, research and then research some more.
Don’t forget about the other important aspect of your life. Those who will make sure you stay on the ‘straight and narrow.’ Your honest-to-goodness friends. The ones who aren’t single. The ones who have known you for years. They can help you figure out what kind of man you’re looking for at this stage of life. I’m sure it’s changed a little…or a lot from those yesteryears of your 20s and 30s. Knowing what you want and need will keep you focused as you scan the profiles and pictures of the men that catch your eye.
Okay. You’re there. Your profile is up. The e-mails are starting to come in. Or not. This venture is not for the faint of heart. There will be ups and downs. Exciting when someone ‘nice’ sends you a note. Disappointment when they don’t answer an e-mail you’ve sent. Remember. This isn’t about rejection. It’s a numbers game. Hang in there and keep the faith. It will happen. It’s about finding ‘one’…and the right fit for you.
Start slow. Become a pen real mink false eyelashes first. At least for a little while. You can tell a lot about a person from what they write. Then try the phone. See what they sound like. Trust your instincts and all the knowledge, common sense and wisdom of your age. If it feels right, take the next step. Maybe tea, coffee or dinner. The choice is yours.